TIME TRACKERS (Video):
I have no idea what this movie is--but judging from the art, it's some time travel comedy. Actually, I don't even remember where or why I got this. I can guess that it was CHEAP though. (I'm all about the cheap these days...)
WITCHCRAFT (Video):
A few months back, I scored (if you can call it that) a poster for, I think, WITCHCRAFT III. I have NEVER seen the WITCHCRAFT movies, all ( I believe) were direct-to-video erotic-horror cheapies. (I just looked it up. As of this writing, there are 16 in the series! WHY?) While it might be fun to track the actual flicks down and give them a watch some day (or NOT), when this first poster in the series came along--and was cheap--I thought why not?
INSPECTOR CLOUSEAU:
This movie is sort of an enigma. According to Wikipedia, it IS part of the PINK PANTHER canon, but neither Blakle Edwards, Peter Sellers, or Henri Mancini were involved. The film is largely unknown and is usually not included with PINK PANTHER sets (although it was in an "ultimate" set in 2008). I've never seen it--nor have I really need to see it. The poster came along and was (What's that magic word again?) cheap---so...
LONG JEANNE SILVER:
Oh my stars! I am not sure why I bought this poster. (The blue patch is NOT on the actual poster.) It's for a porn flick, but I've never seen it. I've just heard of it/about it. Long Jeanne Silver's uh..."stage name" is clearly inspired by the pirate in TREASURE ISLAND, Long John Silver. And what was Long John Silver noted for? His peg leg. From what I understand, the lead "actress" in this presentation has a natural peg leg, as in she has a stump at the end of her leg--no foot. And, oh my...I don't even want to think of what she must use it for in an adult movie. EEEW! Again, this may have been cheap, but I really do not know why I felt the need to buy it.
Believe it or not, but this is a difficult poster to find. I got one years ago when I started tracking down all of the posters for various Hercules movies. Only that first copy--the only copy I'd ever seen up to that time--was in poor condition with scotch tape all over it. Blah! This one is in super shape and came to me from... Colombia! Never seen it. I'm sure it's trash. (And yes, the poster was cheap!)
I am not sure, but I belive this film was what I saw advertised on TV as a 6 year old in 1971. I remember that ad as my parents both told me to close my eyes so I wouldn't be scared. I did--but only for a moment. I was hooked on horror ever since. Unfortunately, this film is a total turd. I'm not sure about its origins. IMDB and Wikipedia both say it was released in 1971. IMDB lists THE TOUCH OF SATAN as the original title, whereas Wiki says this was the oiriginal name. I am inclinded to believe the Wiki version, as the poster with SATAN in the title talks about exorcism, which really didn't come into vogue until 1973 when THE EXORCIST came out and was a smash hit. Granted the novel of THE EXORCIST also came out in 1971, but only about two months before this flick. I think Wiki got the original title (MELISSA) correct. I knew what it was as soon as I saw it on eBay--and it was also cheap! But I sweated it out, waiting for it to get near the auction's close before bidding on it, thinking I had a rare find. I really hadn't seen many copies over the years...but then I realized eMovie has had a few copies lately in their lot offerings. Ha! There's no treasure here--just an obscure poster for that first fright flick that (at least it's promotional commercial) put horror on the map for me.
Anyone who has been reading my poster posts knows that for YEARS (long before the Severin box set momentarily made it briefly cool and hip) that I have been a "fan" (if that is the right word--which it isn't, but I can't think of what the right word would be. A "fascinationist" perhaps?) of the works of Andy Milligan. I have copies of all of his horror theatrical one sheets (except for THE BODY BENEATH) and a few of his non-horror posters as well. But I have never had a pressbook for a Milligan film. I was super curious as to what sort of inane description and fake press a Milligan film would have---so this one came up--cheap--and I snagged it.
INFERNO (Spanish):
This is in Spanish, but I don't believe a one sheet in English exists for Dario Argento's INFERNO. I stumbled on this one--cheap--also in Colombia. (The dealer was there--NOT me.) Since there is no apparent English one sheet for the film, I thought why not get this one? Of course, it was only later that I realized that, gee, I already have one. Oh well...
While definitely a B- (or Z-) movie (and in 3D to boot...although 3D is nowhere mentioned on the poster), unlike the other posters in today's post, this was decidedly NOT cheap. Ha! But how ludicrious! Women running around in leotards acting cat-like. Ha! And on the moon, no less. They don't get much more cheesy than this. I am ever so delighted to have this. It's not perfect, but that's okay. I wouldn't trade it for a "deadly cave of forbidden moon-gold!" Ha!
And there you have it--a B- (Z-?) rated post about B- (Z-) movie posters. Just like the no-budget filmmakers of yesteryear, they were living the dream despite an empty wallet. I'm still trying to live my poster dreams, too.
Thank you for visiting.
CHEERS!
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